Shine on you crazy diamond...
It's hard when you watch a friend being buried.. a beautiful life taken away too soon. How do you justify it? What do you say to take away the pain? I've realised its a futile attempt. He's dead. Nothing can change that. Nothing makes sense. So we live with regrets.. agonising over things we said and didnt say; wishing we had done more; smiled more; hugged more. Here's one more box of regrets to hide under my bed. But one thing comforts me.. I'm not afraid of death anymore. Cos I know I wont be sad n' lonely up there.. I wont mope around like a new kid at school... I'll have him up there waiting to take my hand n' show me all the cool hang outs! N there we'll sing all day and lounge all day.. and everything will be just the way it was meant to be! So wait for me, my friend. You better be watching my back from up there instead of having too much fun amidst all the adulation you'll obviously be getting! I will miss you... when a person dies, you dont lose them all at once.. it happens slowly.. the phone stops ringing with their name.. their voice becomes distant.. you slowly forget what it was like to hug them.. n lastly, you start to lose the details of their face.. thats how you lose someone. I hope in time i'll be ready to let you go.
Funeral Blues
- W.H.Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message he is dead.
Out crepe bows around the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Funeral Blues
- W.H.Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message he is dead.
Out crepe bows around the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
posted by Empty Space at 1:58 PM
6 Comments:
now the gods rock with him.....
Sometimes, the most difficult thing to do is to simply let go...
so, how goes your thesis?
"Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor death, nor yet can thou kill me;
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and souls' delivery.
Thou'art slave to Fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppie,' or charmes can make us sleep as well,
And better then they stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, Death thou shalt die"
- John Donne
Its about 11.50am in Columbus, OH and I was walking to get a cup of coffee amidst my work day. Couldn't help thinking - Leon's probably here somwhere!
Leon probably knew my brother better - but I was touched by the brief intereactions I had with him - even though the last one was nine years ago.
That was a beautiful message - thank you. I just heard about this last week - so am still in a weird phase of grieving - I chaneled this into a piece of music that I wrote - www.myspace.com/naveenprash
Take care - and look up and smile back :-)
Best,
Naveen
naveen... thanx so much for stopping by! i still think about him all the time.. still miss him like crazy! most of the time i still have difficulty believing he's gone. but it comforts me knowing how loved leon was.. even ppl like urself, who met him last nine years ago, are mourning his death! thats just the kinda guy he was.. special!
hi there..
beautiful words... twas Very touching, brought tears unconsciously.. brought back memories of someone I loved and lost >2yrs back... I dont know if I ll EVER let go of him, completely.. dont know if its pssible.. memory is tricky, you lose the sense of his touch, smell, voice, the everyday reminders like the phone ringing, the sms beeping, may stop.. but somewhere in the crevices of our brains, memory lives. And it just refuses the die, and I dont have the heart to kill it...
I wish you would be ablt to let go, healthily, someday...
I copy pasted your words "when a person dies, you dont lose them all at once.. .thats how you lose someone" into my diary..
that done, I moved on to read your other posts, and realised for a stunned minute that I knew you from somewhere...In a minute I knew who you were and how I knew you.. we were together at stella maris, a place thats almost off my memory, or so I thought.. I got goosebumps strangely realising this. Its as if suddenly, a piece of you past, forgotten, uncared, thought-lost, comes back in full vengeance and slaps you hard right in your face. Roshini Menon is how I knew you.
you would have known me as anitha, or Pk.. we were in the same batch in litt, though hardly knowing each other beyond a faint acquaintance..your blogpost brought tears, memories and goosebumps all at once today... keep going Roshini.. your writing is awesome!
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